October 2025

Beloved,

Good caregivers are often terrible at being on the receiving end. Have you noticed this? Throughout my ministry, I have seen caregivers pour themselves out for others while often neglecting their own well-being. If you’ve ever said, “Oh, I’m fine, I’ve got this,” or if someone has suggested you take time off, this month’s edition of The Good News is for you.

When I shared this article idea with Kathy, your senior warden, she quickly reminded me that I fit this description perfectly. Oversleeping nearly an hour for our weekly meeting didn’t exactly help my case! This article was intended to be about the importance of self-care, but it has turned into a classic case of pot-calling-the-kettle-black.

My experience — and my observation of others — teaches me how quickly compassion fatigue can push us into a spiritual dark place. Anger, frustration, fear, and isolation can take over, drowning out the still, small voice of God that reminds us we are never alone.

Why is it so difficult to receive care when caring for others comes naturally? I believe it’s a mix of shame and embarrassment about our lack of independence — and the vulnerability that comes with letting someone see the “mess in our closet.” We’d rather appear competent and maintain our dignity than risk being perceived as weak.

This struggle is nothing new. Think of the moment when Jesus insisted on washing Peter’s feet. Embarrassed, Peter tried to bargain: “How about my hands and head instead?” He knew his feet got dirty easily and didn’t want to show them to Jesus, let alone have them washed by his teacher. Two thousand years later, I still hear people giving similar reasons for avoiding foot washing — bad toes, calluses, athlete’s foot, or worry about germs. Yet Jesus says plainly, “Unless I wash your feet, you have no share with me” (John 13:8).

Moments like these challenge us to ask: When did Christianity become more about proving we can live independently than about creating a loving community where we give and receive care freely?

This is why our fall parish council theme is ‘Caring with Grace, Humility, and Love’ — both in giving and in receiving. Stephen Ministers and vestry members will join together to explore this conversation over a potluck meal on October 19, after the 10:30 service in the parish hall. I hope you will join us as we reflect on how St. Paul’s can be a training ground where we practice Christian care together.

Before compassion fatigue takes root, we must take self-care seriously — not as a selfish act, but as a means to stay spiritually grounded and ready to serve. As flight attendants remind us, we must put on our own oxygen mask before helping others.

Just as Kathy reminded me to slow down, we can remind each other that we are not meant to carry burdens alone. Together, we can learn what it means to receive care as an act of faith — and in doing so, we will become a stronger, braver community, acting in love to elevate one another.

Love in Christ,

Fr. Andrew