Beloved, 

I have been tidying up my office since December. Thanks to George, my ordination certificates and the seminary diploma were finally on the wall after sitting on the floor at home for ten years. A new collection of social work-related books must find its home on my bookshelves, meaning I am parting with some old books I no longer need. I hope Patricia will be proud of me. I miss her reminding me from time to time that I must always try to keep the office nice and tidy to be more inviting so that whoever visits me and I can focus better without distraction from all the clutter.

Going through my old textbooks, I picked up one on Christian Ethics. The book had my scratch notes on pages, some of which brought back memories, some confusing, and others making me shake my head, thinking, “Did I really say that?!” The almost twenty-year-younger self that greeted me through these scratch notes was much more naively black and white, fearfully loud, visibly pious, emotionally unstable, yet carelessly adventurous. I noticed one thing in common about all these books: I only marked the first few pages religiously with highlights and notes, but the rest were almost untouched. It describes my life before Adderall perfectly. How did I get through my schools? Then I remember. I survived by checking out Fr. Roger’s textbooks, which diligently highlighted all the important parts! 

Now that I am adequately medicated and do not have to deal with all the consequential rigorous deadlines, I enjoy reading my old textbook, even on Christian Ethics! While absorbing the contents like a sponge, I can’t turn off my remorse in the back of my mind, thinking, what if I had finished all the assigned readings on time and been able to join in discussions with my classmates more thoroughly instead of constantly blaming my ranguage barrier? Of course, there is no way of telling now. All I can do is embrace my new joy of reading, moving forward.

Life brings many surprises like this. The same book that was once torturous can become such enlightening wisdom that I can’t keep my eyes off it. I literally judged books by their covers, thinking I knew them all in the black-and-white ways. Putting so much weight on my thirty-some-year-old knowledge, I missed many opportunities that could have brought me “ah-ha” moments. Now that I have realized it, I must part with them to create a space and welcome a new collection of books on my shelves. The scripture says best: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverb 3:5-6). This sentiment continues today, and I am convinced that God will teach me lessons like this until my last day. We are to welcome, cherish, and let go of the present each day and moment of our lives; we let go and let God enter our lives. Well, I think I better stop jabbering and return to tidying up my office. It’s a Japanese custom to do Oh-so-ji every December, a deep cleaning of the entire house to thank God for providing a roof over our heads during the passing year (Kansha), reflect on our lives (Hansei), cleanse our hearts (Kaishin), and brainstorm what we can do better moving forward (Kaizen). Oh-so-ji is much like our confession, repentance, and the Great Thanksgiving we do during Sunday mass.

It’s 2025. Whatever the year brings, may we always try to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God (Micah 6:5). May we remember to stay in the present with awareness, prayerfully, one breath at a time. Wishing you a Happy New Year and many blessings. 

Faithfully, 

Andrew+